"Let It Go" - Why Are You Holding On To That

“Let it go.” – Frozen (every parent’s favorite movie)

Questions Show Faith And Trust

Why is this happening? Really God, another issue? How am I going to pay this bill? I am so tired of being sick? Where are you, God? Can I just have one easy, quiet day?

Richard Nelson, Thank You Just Isn't Enough

The days of late had been dark. Joy was absent. Drowning in doubt, and consumed with anger, hurt could not help but pour out of me. As I sat in a friend’s house, surrounded by brothers who loved me, I finally admitted what my heart had felt for so long – I was mad at God, and I hated the Hell He was allowing my family to walk through, and in all honesty, I wanted nothing more to do with Him.

Our Pain Has A Purpose

God, why am I walking through this? What good can possibly come out of this? Is there really a reason for this in my life? What possible purpose could the pain I and my family are walking through have? 

This Body Is Not My Home

“Things were spinnin' 'round me

And all my thoughts were cloudy

And I had begun to doubt all the things that were me...

Somethin' is just not right

'Cause I know that I've gotta get outta here

I'm so alone...

Suffer For Good

“Come on Charles. You can do it. Just 30 more seconds. Push yourself, push yourself. Don’t give up. Come on; give me five more seconds. you’re strong and you can do it.” Once or twice a week these days, I “torture” myself, and I hear statements like these, from someone who will not let me give up.

My Inspiration

It is 2 a.m., December 27th, our anniversary, and surprise, surprise, I am still awake. Sleep very often alludes me, and tonight is one of those nights, but as I sit here, looking back on our journey, I am overwhelmed with just how blessed a man I am.

How will I choose to view this?

Today is the day. It is a day of closure, and a day of new beginnings. It is a day, that in some ways, I have dreaded for the past 2 months. Once again, this new journey I am on has intersected with my hopes, my plans, my dreams, and my future, and it has dictated a decision. Today, I must say goodbye to one more thing.

When God Deconstructs Me

Who am I? How do I define myself? What do I tell others about me? We all have an image of ourselves. We all find our identity in certain things, but what do you do when that changes? What do you do when who you are no longer who you are? What do you do when something happens that radically changes the person you are - the things you found your identity in - welcome to my world with Parkinson's.

“If it wasn’t for bad luck…”

“…I wouldn’t have any luck at all.” As if my life had not been shaken up enough (that’s a joke), I decided to end the day with a bang. Lying in the hospital bed, my mom sitting beside me, she says the above song title, and it clicked – yes, that is exactly what it feels like. Maybe that should be my new theme song?

Hustle and Bustle - From Charles' New Book "What Christmas Really Is All About" - Available now at Amazon

“Be still and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:1 

Christmas is a wonderful time of year – but it is also very hectic. On top of the normal busy schedule that everyone seems to keep these days, more is added in the months around this holiday. People pack event after event into an already overcrowded and bursting schedule. Christmas “requires” so much. As people rush from thing to thing, they become stressed, frazzled, and overwhelmed. 

What does not kill you...Really, another kidney stone!

What does not kill us, makes us stronger! Boy I have heard that so many times, I even kind of like the 
song. But as I lay here, trying to pass the 4th kidney stone in 4 weeks, I wonder, do I really want to live through this. Not sure I will make it into that second category, and dealing with this pain, I am not sure I want to LOL. 

Why exactly am I in the woods?

I am not a camper, and I am a far cry from an outdoorsman. Don’t get me wrong, I like being outside, but I also like coming in from the outside. What in the world is a person like me, with all my health issues, doing living the “outdoor life”?

I do not usually “rough it”, yet here I lay, at the crack of dawn (actually before dawn), in a tent filled with people, listening to my dogs whine at the birds that have started chirping - how did I get here?

What’s Knocking At The Door Of Your Spirit

 We all have something that is knocking at the door of our spirit, but we choose how to face it. I encourage you today choose hope.

"It" Wins By Making Us Feel Alone

 

I stood beside him on the hill, watching streams of people go by. He looked at me and simply said, “I have never felt more at home. It is as if all of those rejected or left out by society have come together.” In that one small statement, I saw his pain, as he expressed a truth so many battling chronic illness feel.

Content, Whatever Lot I See

Lord, I would clasp Thy hand in mine,

Nor ever murmur or repine;
Content, whatever lot I see,
Since it is Thou that leadest me.

-from the hymn “He Leadeth Me, Oh Blessed Thought”

 

Silence is Sometimes Golden - Knowing When to be Silent

Life can really knock you around some days. Sometimes while you are still reeling from the first punch, the 2^nd, 3^rd, or 4^th one come right behind it. You can’t even catch your breath, let alone get back on your feet before you are knocked down again, and just when you think it can get no worse, you get “encouraged” by someone who really should learn the art of silence.

If You Want Me To

I am really beginning to hate the month of June (which is unusual for an educator). Between this month and the month of April, I regularly seem to get news or experience things, I never wanted to. Maybe we can just start skipping this month.

 

The Anniversary I Never Wanted

Life is full of momentous events. We mark dates on the calendar to celebrate happy occasions – weddings, births, graduations – days set aside to celebrate those milestones in life. Today is one of those days for me. It is a day of remembrance of a life changing event. A day reminding me of something that forever changed my future. The “Anniversary” that I never wanted.

We Must Seek To Understand Another's Experience

I sat across from him, just staring in disbelief. Had he really just said that? “Your struggle is just physical, it’s not emotional.” The words played over and over in my head, and I just bit my tongue, because no response at that point would be a good one.