Wednesday, June 24, 2020

If You Want Me To

I am really beginning to hate the month of June (which is unusual for an educator). Between this month and the month of April, I regularly seem to get news or experience things, I never wanted to. Maybe we can just start skipping this month.

 

Today, once again, I am faced with an anniversary that I never imagined I would have, and certainly never wanted. On this day, so many years ago, we said goodbye to my sister. For months she had battled brain cancer, and on this day, so long ago, her body lost the fight, and she left us.

 

To say this was (and still is) hard for my family would be an understatement. It is something you never forget and something that is always with you. Not a day goes by that she is not thought of and missed. The path she and our family were chosen to walk is not what any of us would have wanted, and definitely not something we liked. This seems to be the “normal” for our family, and I know for many others reading this. Over and over again you are forced to walk a path full of challenges, heartache, and sorrow.

 

Today, as I was scrolling through Facebook memories, I was reminded of a song:

 


This song encapsulated everything about her fight, and her attitude facing it. The message is simple – the path is hard, I don’t understand why I am here, I don’t like it, sometimes I am holding on for dear life, but I trust you, and your love, and if this is the path I must walk, then I will. This was my sister’s attitude as she faced this battle – even in the face of death, leaving her newborn son and family behind, and missing out on so much, her heart and prayer was simple – I will walk through this valley if you want me to.

 

As I listened to the song today, and remembered the wonderful friend who sang this at her funeral, I was reminded of her testimony, and faithfulness until the end. Her trust was in God, and she knew He was with her and her family. Was the path easy – no. Was it hard – yes. Was this the path any of us wanted – no. Yet here we were, forced once again to walk a path none of us wanted.

 

Today, you may find yourself on just such a path. How will you respond? My path is now Parkinson’s. It is a path I do not want, and everyday wish would leave me, but it hasn’t, and each day, I must now walk this path. Years later, my sister’s faithfulness is still a testimony to me, and asks me the same question she had to answer, “Will you walk this path, if that is what He wants you to do?”

 

This path has already changed me in so many ways, and I am not who I was even a year ago. Some days, I am simply clinging to His promise that He is with me and that He is not done with me. I have no idea why He brought me to the place, but I know He loves me and that I am not alone.

 

Today, I choose to walk through the fire, the valley, that is before me if that is what He wants me to do. One thing I know, He is with me, even when I feel alone. He hears me, even when I can’t hear Him. His love and strength will sustain me, and I know that even in this, He will show His faithfulness.

 

Today, I remember my sister, and I am thankful for the time we had together. You were gone too soon, but your testimony and faithfulness still speaks to me today as I walk this new valley placed before me. Today, I encourage you, be willing to walk the path He has before you, and remember that He is with you – for He will never leave or forsake you. I love you sis – thank you, even today, for reminding me of this truth as I walk this path of Parkinson’s.

4 comments:

  1. Awesome testimony of faith in the midst of the fire! Thank you!

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  2. i was diagnosed of parkinson disease 5 years ago,i started azilect,then mirapex as the disease progressed in february last year,and i started on parkinson disease Herbal medicine from ultimate herbal home,few months into the treatment i made a significant recovery,almost all my symptoms are gone,great improvement with my movement and balance,it been a year and life has been so good for me,contact them at ultimatehealthhome@gmail.com

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  3. My husband was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson's disease at 57.his symptoms were shuffling of feet,slurred speech, low volume speech, degradation of hand writing, horrible driving skills, right arm held at 45 degree angle, things were tough for me, but now he finally free from the disease with the help of total cure from ULTIMATE LIFE CLINIC, he now walks properly and all symptoms has reversed, he had trouble with balance especially at night, getting into the shower and exiting it is difficult,getting into bed is also another thing he finds impossible.we had to find a better solution for his condition which has really helped him a lot,the biggest helped we had was ultimate life clinic they walked us through the proper steps,i recommended this www.ultimatelifeclinic.com to anyone who needs there help.

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