“If it wasn’t for bad luck…”

“…I wouldn’t have any luck at all.” As if my life had not been shaken up enough (that’s a joke), I decided to end the day with a bang. Lying in the hospital bed, my mom sitting beside me, she says the above song title, and it clicked – yes, that is exactly what it feels like. Maybe that should be my new theme song?

A long day was coming to an end, and on my way home I had a few errands. I got off the interstate and was driving to my destination. I caught sudden movement out of the corner of my eye, and “wham” the world exploded. My body jerked around, banging into anything and everything. Airbags exploded, burning my wrist, and smoke began to fill the car. 

I sat there stunned thinking what just happened? Realizing I had just been hit, I looked to the sky and said, “Really God, Really? Did we need something else going on in our lives?” Then moments later, a second thought filled my mind, “Really God, my wife’s car? I had to be in a wreck with my wife’s car?” (and yes, I have still, weeks later, not heard the end of this)

I turned the car off, and just sat there, stunned. My car door opened and a lady stood there asking if I was “okay”. By this point, I was shaking badly (the stress and accident had sent my Parkinson’s into a flare). I repeatedly reassured her I that I was not stroking out, but that I just had Parkinson’s.

Off to the hospital I went and then spent the next few days resting and healing from the bumps and bruises at home. It was a miracle that I walked away from the wreck, and while thankful, it was also discouraging. This was one more “thing” in a long line of struggles that seemed to plague us lately. You see, my wife was also down from a fall she had taken. She had broken her collar bone and hurt her hip (still waiting to see if surgery will be needed).

When my mom said that song title, it was as if the mantra for my life had finally been given words. When hit with one thing after another, I could not help but think “Enough Already”. It really did seem like all we had was bad luck. 

As I sat at home those next few days, it was hard not to despair, I was hard not to just throw in the towel, wave the white flag, and say, “Alright, I’m done.” I also realized that when faced with these types of life events – this thought is natural. A friend of mine said to another person, “What else is God going to do to this man?” And really, that is exactly how I felt.

But the more I thought and prayed, and considered, even in this, there was so much for which to be thankful. I realized that yes, things were hard, and 2020 had certainly been a year, but as I looked around, I was not just lucky, I was blessed. Yes, our house needed to be retrofitted with padding and rubber sidewalks, and my wife and I needed to be wrapped in bubble wrap, but as hard as things were, they were good, and I truly was lucky, no, I was blessed, with all I had.

Yes, sometimes, it feels like if I did not have bad luck I would have no luck at all, but to live in that place, would be to overlook all for which I am truly blessed with. Somedays, it gets the better of me, and all I see is the negative, but that is not where I need to live. Those days are okay – we all have them – and when I have those days, I need to be okay with that. But, I also need to remember that I am blessed beyond measure, even in this fight, and I have friends, family, and a God, who will never leave or forsake me, so, in reality, I have the best “luck” of all.