A Terrifying Prospect - Battling Daily Fears

I will be honest – I am terrified. As I sit here, I cannot stop thinking about my future. What will it hold? What will my quality of life be? What are things going to look like for my family? How much will I be able to function? How will my family be supported? What will my quality of life be? Will this be too much for my wife and kids? Am I a burden? How long can I honestly go on? On and on the questions could go, and as I look at the future, it is a terrifying prospect.

No More Bus Driving For You - Being Told "No"

I hate driving the bus. It is big, traffic around Nashville is awful, and it is not easy to navigate. Monitoring everything, being careful and alert, and just simply driving something that big can be exhausting. As I said, I hate driving the bus – so why am I not happy? She just told me I could no longer drive the bus. I should be doing backflips, but I am not – I am just mad.

What do you wish people knew about living with Parkinson's Disease, Part 2

While the first article (part 1) dealt mostly with the physical aspects of the struggle with this disease, I realized that the physical aspects of this disease was just a part of this battle. So much of the battle I face with my Parkinson’s Disease is the battle I face in my mind and emotions. In some ways, this part of the disease can be even more of a challenge, and makes dealing with the physical struggle that much more difficult.

What do you wish people knew about living with Parkinson's Disease, Part 1

How do you explain something to a person who has never experienced it? How do they understand what this disease feels like? It is hard for any of us to understand the depth of another’s struggle if we have not walked that path ourselves, but when we begin to see just a small part of what another is dealing with, it can help us as we work to help them.

Drifting Apart

We sit in a room in silence, side by side, both feeling numb. What is there to say? The hurt and pain of this latest diagnosis, some days, is unbearable. We sit there in uncertainty – will we make it? What does she think of me now? Am I still loveable? Does he still care for me; he seems so distant? It seems like we have not talked in days? How did we get here?

Can I Forgive Myself For Having This Disease? - Dealing with Guilt

I sit there alone, locked in my own thoughts. Silently I beat myself up for not being the man I think I should be. Daily, I look around, and I see myself (at least in my own mind) letting down those I love – my wife, my children, my family, my friends, even those at work. I am battling so many feelings and I am so mad at myself for having this disease. I feel so guilty for putting my family though this - has anyone else ever felt this way?

Sometimes, God's Plan Stinks

So, let me see if I have this right, Lord, I need to have yet another struggle. My arthritis is not enough? The pain and death of my sister to cancer is not enough? My continuing health struggles and the burden it places on my family in every possible way is not sufficient? So “the plan” is to give me an even greater, life-altering disease – one with no cure, that will just get worse over time and make life even more difficult? This is the plan? Well, as far as I can see, this plan stinks!