Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Planning For Uncertainty


“This disease could progress slowly or quickly. You could be able to work for 5 more years or 20. Everyone that has Parkinson’s progresses differently.” This is what our doctor told us the day I was diagnosed. How in the world do we plan for something so unpredictable?

In reality, my life was now no more unpredictable than it was a few moments before, but it sure felt that way. So many questions raced through my mind, but the main question I had was, how will I provide for my family” What happens if I can only work for a few more years? How will we survive?

As we started looking for resources, we came upon one thing after another that we needed to do or decide, and none of them were enjoyable. I was only 44 for crying out loud, this is the last thing I should be thinking about at this age – or at least that is what I thought.

Our first stop was a visit with an Elder Care Lawyer (yes, that is as fun as it sounds). As we sat in his office we talked about our future and how to plan. What if I stop working in 5 years? What if I need to go onto disability? What about Medicaid? What if I become bedridden and need round the clock care? (I know – what exciting discussions for a young man and his wife to be having – NOT!)

But it did not stop there. Next, we had to begin to consider, beyond Power of Attorney, what things now needed to be in my wife’s name, and how soon did she need to take these things over. As a man, it was emasculating. Slowly, piece by piece, I was having to give up everything I had worked so hard for. Don’t get me wrong, I knew these steps needed to be taken and that these things needed to be done, but it was no fun. I was so glad I could do this to provide for my family, but it was still hard.

I realized when talking with my counselor, that it felt like I was giving up. It was like I was throwing in the towel and admitting defeat. I was grieving the loss of, really everything, and while it was hard, it also felt good.

As I sat by my wife, and began to sign things over to her control, while difficult, it was good. This is the rollercoaster that chronic disease often puts you on. I love my family, and as hard as this was, there was nothing more loving that I could do for them. And because of that love, I was glad to do it. It still hurt, but it also gave a feeling of joy that I could give these gifts to those I loved.

In spite of this turmoil of emotions, I stood back and realized that regardless of our plans, our trust still must be focused squarely on Him. My life was just as uncertain today as it was yesterday, and these plans, while wise, could not protect us for everything that was coming. Alongside this planning, our focus and trust needed to be Him. As uncertain as this disease is, and as hard as these decisions are, He is constant, He has a plan, and He will care for us in every way, and that is an encouraging thought.

2 comments:

  1. i was diagnosed of parkinson disease 5 years ago,i started azilect,then mirapex as the disease progressed in february last year,and i started on parkinson disease Herbal medicine from ultimate herbal home,few months into the treatment i made a significant recovery,almost all my symptoms are gone,great improvement with my movement and balance,it been a year and life has been so good for me,contact them at ultimatehealthhome@gmail.com

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  2. My husband was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson's disease at 57.his symptoms were shuffling of feet,slurred speech, low volume speech, degradation of hand writing, horrible driving skills, right arm held at 45 degree angle, things were tough for me, but now he finally free from the disease with the help of total cure from ULTIMATE LIFE CLINIC, he now walks properly and all symptoms has reversed, he had trouble with balance especially at night, getting into the shower and exiting it is difficult,getting into bed is also another thing he finds impossible.we had to find a better solution for his condition which has really helped him a lot,the biggest helped we had was ultimate life clinic they walked us through the proper steps,i recommended this www.ultimatelifeclinic.com to anyone who needs there help.

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