It is "Better" with my soul

Though Satan should buffet,

Though trials should come,

Let this blessed assurance control,

That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,

And has shed His own Blood for my soul.

What a ride this year has been! I can only think of one previous year, the year we lost my sister, when our family has been buffeted and tossed as much as we have this year. It has been a year of hardship and sorrow and many discouraging days.

5 months ago I wrote, and on October 8^th I posted, an article simply titled, “It is not well with my soul”, and that is exactly how I felt. I totally identified in my heart and mind with the lines from the song, “…When sorrows like sea billows role…though Satan should buffet, though trials should come…” Even though, He had taught me to say, I could not bring myself to say, “It is well with my soul.”

Everything inside me was screaming the opposite. As trail after trail after trail hit our family, and sorrow and loss piled high, nothing seemed “well” in our lives. So much has happened this year, it has almost left my family and I numb. Processing these struggles seemed impossible, because no sooner was one thing over, then another started. People started jokingly referring to me as “Job”.

Through the days of struggle and despair, we tried to keep going, but most days it was not well. In fact, as I write this, I am sitting in the hospital, on Christmas Eve, helping my wife as she recovers from knee replacement surgery, because, hey, I can’t have all the fun. And with this event, the year comes to a close with a bang, just as it began. In many ways, the perfect bookend to a rather difficult and unbelievable year.

Yet as I sit here today, while I may not be able to always say “It is well with my soul”, I can honestly say, it is “better” with my soul. Six months ago, I was not even sure I would get back to this place. So much doubt overshadowed my life, and frustration, anger, and sadness, seemed to be my constant companions.

So overwhelmed with my fate, and struggling to trust God, more and more things piled on, culminating in this hospital stay. I finally got to the point where I would just laugh because the stories were just too much to believe, and God and I had some interesting conversations. Regarding His plan and warped sense of humor But in spite of all of this, God continued to walk with us, and we were surrounded by so many who helped hold us during these very difficult days as we tried to navigate this new norm.

As I talked with God, and honestly shared with Him and others where I was, I noticed that healing slowly began. Everything was not all of a sudden “coming up roses” (clearly since I am writing this from a hospital, LOL), but as we took things one day at a time, we realized that He and others were with us, and He would provide.

Was it still hard – Yes! Were there days full of sorrow – absolutely! Did we still have doubts and frustrations – of course. But God was beginning to heal, and we were learning that He would see us through. We have been shown love and care for in hundreds of ways. I have counseled with others, and also found that God still had things for me to do. As a family, we are beginning to learn that sometimes, just being okay, is okay, and just taking that next step in faith, allows you to take the one after that.

So today, it is “better” with my soul. It does not mean that we won’t have bad days, and it does not mean that there will be no more good days, but as we take things one day at a time, we are seeing Him in little ways. We are finding our footing and learning that we can get back to the place that it is well with our souls, because through it all, He is here.

Today, I was shown a wonderful story about this great hymn. It is about 17 minutes long, but I promise you, it is worth it, and will remind you of the goodness and faithfulness of God, even at times when you do not feel it. I pray that God blesses you, and in spite of your circumstances, gets you back to the place where it is well, or at least better, with your soul.