Is WedMD of the Devil?

As a young child of the 80’s, Schoolhouse Rock told me “knowledge is power” and G.I. Joe taught me “knowing is half the battle”. Today, we have more knowledge than ever available to us at our finger trips – but is that knowledge really giving us power? Sometimes, that knowledge can make the battle even harder.

I grew up in a time before the Internet, before Google, and before smart phones – or as my children call it – the stone age. During that time, we had a limited source of information available to us. We could look at encyclopedias, newspapers, the evening news, but information was not always right at our fingertips. We could not simply type in a topic and an endless stream of information appear before us.

Now, whenever we want it, information is right there. When we were still looking for a diagnosis, I would often get on Google or WebMD and type in my symptoms (not always a wise choice). The results I would find would amaze and frighten me at their scope. Everything between minor tremors to ALS would show up. Depending on my mood, it would give me some false hope, or scared the crap out of me.

When the doctor gave me the trial of Parkinson’s medicine, and it started working, I begin doing some research on these same platforms. While I was able to find a lot of good information about things I was currently dealing with, and many of my symptoms were explained, there was also a lot of "wonderful information" on the progression of this disease.

Now don’t get me wrong, it can be very good to know what to expect. It can help you plan and prepare for the future. There can also be a very real downside to this information – fear. For Parkinson’s, the future can look pretty bleak. I read about all of these things that would happen or could happen, and it was very easy for my mind to go to the worst-case scenario. In fact, as the doctor shared with me my diagnosis, much of the information I had read begin streaming through my mind.

I began to think about all the things that might happen, and what very well my future could look like. And in those moments, my heart was gripped with fear. Fear of the path that I was now on. Fear of what would happen my body and mind. Fear for my family. Fear of what the future would look like. Fear of how we would plan and provide for the future. Even some fear in myself and my ability to face this.

This can be the danger of knowledge, without perspective. Knowledge in a vacuum, without perspective and context, can be a very overwhelming and frightening thing, and can sometimes give us the wrong picture, or lead us to wrong conclusions. You see, in all of this knowledge that I was gathering, one thing was lacking – experience.

The only experience I had to go on was what I had read, and the way I felt without any treatment. As I sought knowledge, I began to find individuals and groups who had or were walking the same path that I was starting out upon. They had the experience that I did not, and helped give me the perspective that I did not yet have.

I began to realize that yes knowledge is important, but so is faith and perspective. Hebrews 11:1 reminds us, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Fear and faith both deal with the same thing – an unknown future. Both are based on what we cannot see. When presented with events, or even the knowledge of what might happen, I have two choices in my response, fear or faith.

I can respond in faith, trusting that God will walk me through these events. When I have knowledge of what might happen, I can choose to believe that God will give me the strength and provision I need. I can take that knowledge, and begin to wisely plan for the future, trusting God’s direction. Or on the flipside, I can also take that knowledge, and become fearful of what might happen and of what the future might look like, living in fear and defeat.

Whether you have Parkinson’s or not, or some other difficulty, you have the same choice. Before my diagnosis, I had the same choice as I did after my diagnosis. I can choose to live in fear the future, and let the knowledge I have crippled me, or I can take that knowledge, and choose to believe and trust that God will sustain me and strengthen me for the fight ahead.

This is not a one-time choice, but the choice that I choose to make each and every day, sometimes hour by hour. There are days when fear grips my heart, and when I am fighting despair. There are days when it is easy to trust and live in faith. This is a very real struggle we all face, and there are many times when I’m starting down that road fear, that I have to stop and turn to Him, or have others encourage me along the way. In those times I must remember that I do not know what my future holds, but He does, and because He does, I can have faith.