Tis the season. It is the time of year (if you can get past
all the Christmas stuff already out) that we take time to be thankful. A time
of year when we remember and give thanks for all we have, but this year, there
is one thing I am not thankful for, and I am not sure I ever will be. I must
admit, I am just not thankful for Parkinson’s.
I know, it’s kind of ironic that a post during the “Thankful”
season would start off with something I am not thankful for. Don’t get me
wrong, I have lots to be thankful for: a wonderful, loving wife, two amazing
children, a supportive and amazing family, a home, "toys", funds to pay bills, a
great job and ministry, and so much more. This list is just the tip of the ice burg.
I could fill a page with hundreds of things I could be thankful for, but I just
cannot bring myself to be thankful for Parkinson’s or my other chronic
illnesses.
How can you be thankful for something that causes so much
pain, so much discouragement, so much frustration, and so much uncertainty for
the future. I have had to make awful decisions in the face of this disease, and
I have watched my family walk through pain and discouragement, and I am unable
to fix it for them. How in the world could I be thankful for this?
As hard as this year has been, and as unthankful as I am for
Parkinson’s, I do have many things from this past year that I can be thankful
for. I am thankful that this last year, I have begun once again to see what is
truly important. So often we get so caught up in insignificant things that we
lose sight of that which is most important, and this year I have been reminded
what really is important in life.
This last year, I have let go of many frustrations and aggravations,
and realized they are not worth my time and energy. Some things that use to
upset me and frustrated me just are not worth the time and energy.
This last year, I have realized how unintentional I can
sometimes be in life. I have not taken time for the things I should, and not
been intentional in how I lived and interacted with others. I have not made
time for what is most important, and I am seeing that this type of attitude cannot
continue.
I have also seen that in some ways my focus is not where it
should have been. It is easy to lose focus or focus on the less important
things, and miss what is truly important and what needs our attention.
I have been reminded this year, that I have limited time to
impact others. I have had to ask myself what I am doing with this time I have remaining? This thought
has helped me re-evaluate and refocus on what I really need to spend time on.
This year has reminded me how important family and friends really
are. The love, care, and support we give to one another cannot be understated.
It is something that many times we take for granted, and something that we
often let small, and many times "stupid" things get in the way of, but showing each other this love and
support is so very important.
I also have been reminded how petty and small so many
offenses are. We get worked up over things that really are not important, and
instead of forgiveness, we carry anger, hurt, and even bitterness, and allow it
to separate us from those we love. With such limited time on earth, we really
do not have time for this.
This list represents just some of the things I have learned
this year, and as hard as it is to admit this, I am not sure I would have seen
them without my most recent health challenge. This diagnosis has shown or
reminded me of things I needed to see. Don’t get me wrong, I hate this disease,
but some things in me have changed as a result of this illness.
I am not, and probably will not ever be, thankful for
Parkinson’s Disease, but I am thankful for what it has shown me and reminded me
of. For through these reminders, I am once again seeing what truly is important.
So, as I said above, I am not thankful for Parkinson’s, but I am thankful for
the things I have been reminded of this year, and I am thankful for the new
perspective it has given me in so many areas. I pray that each of us, in
spite of our challenges, can find things to give thanks for. We really are truly blessed. Have a wonderful
Thanksgiving!
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